Dec. 3 is the annual International Day of Persons with Disabilities.
Established in 1992, the theme this year is “Transformative solutions for inclusive development: the role of innovation in fueling an accessible and equitable world. (Source: un.org).
What is a disability?
Some people think it is limited to a person with artificial limbs, others who use wheelchairs, those who walk with a cane, the blind, deaf, and mute, mentally challenged patients, persons with spina bifida, sleep disorders, or those with brain damage.
While all of this is true, disabilities go beyond that scope. People who have Bipolar Disorder, depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, agoraphobia, autism, those with birth defects, food aversion, panic attacks, failure to thrive, the developmentally delayed citizens, and other mental health problems are all considered disabled among many other criteria such as burn victims, MS, Parkinson’s, and ALS.
When I was in elementary school I remember a classmate who used a wheelchair along with another girl who had cerebral palsy. They were friends. Back then it was highly unusual to see schoolmates like that.
I can look back when I was little and our family was at church when I spotted a girl there who had been badly burned. I couldn’t help but stare. Another time I saw a woman in the checkout line wearing a mask. It wasn’t Halloween but I do remember it was a Snow White cover-up. I assumed she was disfigured.
I remember watching a movie when I was in my 20s about the little boy David whose father set him on fire. Despite a grueling recovery he went on to become an artist before he passed away. That same year I recall reading about a girl in People Magazine whose family camper on a trip exploded leaving her with third degree burns.
When I was in my 30s or 40s I met a vocational counselor and he said to me, “I know you feel sorry for me because I’m in this chair” but I feel sorry for you because you have bipolar disorder.” It was as if he read my mind. I did feel sorry for him.
Through the years I have marveled at watching the Paralympics where those in wheelchairs and others with obvious disabilities compete for medals just like the Olympics. Only I admire them more because they’ve had to overcome such obstacles. I don’t know that I could do the same.
Not long ago I saw a woman in a wheelchair at the store who had no legs. Then I ran into her at my apartments and noticed she had no arms either. It really keeps you from feeling sorry for yourself.
I asked her if she wanted me to hold the gate for her and she said that was okay; she was waiting for her dad to come back down from taking her groceries in.
Then she asked me, “Do you want me to hold the gate open for you?”
I told her that was okay and couldn’t believe she was being so selfless!
It’s also incredible how many disabled people I run into who have such a positive attitude.
When I first moved into my apartment, the next door neighbor, who uses a wheelchair, was the only one who reached out to me and we would share meals together. We went through a period where we didn’t talk because of a misunderstanding. Then on Christmas Eve that year after I left her a card under her door I ran into her in the hall and she wished me a Merry Christmas.
When I was in middle school there was a student who had a hair lip. My mom and I ran into him at the drugstore and she asked me why I didn’t talk to him. I told her that I just didn’t know him which she didn’t believe. So she beat me and kept asking me why I didn’t say hi to him. She was convinced it was because of his condition and I kept telling her that wasn’t it, which was the truth. Finally she wore me down and I wanted the beating to stop so I just said what she wanted to hear.
I remember in high school there was this blind student who made a joke out of his disability. He came into class one time with flashing dark glasses. Everyone laughed with him, not at him.
Our biology teacher said, “Only he would think of that.”
When I was a volunteer with Volunteers of America in 1998 I worked with many Downs syndrome kids, developmentally delayed children, autistic clients, and those with brain damage. What I noticed about them, especially the two autistic best friends, Jeff and Gabriel, is that they had their own language and laughter about certain things. This was truly a rewarding thing to witness. Jeff came from a great family with a loving mom while Gabriel was part of a generation who did not display love but indifference and irritation. I felt bad for him.
One day I was taking care of a client who was mentally challenged and had epilepsy. We were on the way to the bookstore and she got sick in my car which caused her to cry. I kept trying to reassure her as we drove to the store.
No sooner had we arrived, she had a seizure in the middle of the store. I moved all the chairs and tried to get help but customers and employees just walked around us. I calmed her down and got her out of the building, then called her mom to tell her what happened. She was very understanding and I took the client home.
In 2021 there was a resident at my apartments who used a wheelchair, a veteran who had no legs. The staff had been working on his toilet but it was acting up again. So every time he needed to go to the bathroom he had to wheel himself all the way to the fitness room bathroom. I told the office in hopes they would do something. It wasn’t long after that that I heard he passed away from diabetes. He was such a nice guy, always positive.
My own daughter who was born with food aversion had to use a feeding tube three times a day till she was 16 until miraculously she just started eating. She now looks like a woman instead of the 12-year-old she resembled all these years. A friend of mine said the illness would be considered a birth defect but I never saw it that way at all.
I suppose some illnesses are clearly such but if you asked a variety of those “disabled,” I suspect a lot of them would say they don’t consider themselves with that label.
At any rate, Dec. 3 is when we celebrate those with disabilities though we should honor them every day.