December 1 is World AIDS Day, a time to reflect on those we have lost to this horrible disease and to be proactive in our fundraising among other actions.
I met Tommy when I lived in Florida through my sister. He was a hairdresser and my sister was a client throughout the years. He became my stylist for a long time as well as a friend. Handsome, Italian like my sister and I, funny, creative, artistic, outgoing, full of ideas, and a very positive person with beautiful hair. I remember one time we went out for native food and he sang me a song pertaining to Italy at the table. I was taken aback but I loved it.
We saw “Pet Sematary” together and spent a lot of time shopping, eating out, hanging together, and Tommy took me to my first gay bar where we enjoyed a drag show. The queen performed to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” and now every time I hear that song I think about that. It was quite a performance.
I remember when Tommy and I entered the club two men were whispering and making fun of me, I guess because I looked like a fish out of water and they could tell by my expression that I was new.
Whenever Tommy would get ready to style my hair, we would first sit in the back of the salon and catch up on things. He was very generous and open.
I helped him move once into this cool duplex, a blue house with a fireplace diagonally across from a 711. He had a cat that he adored and was very close to his family. I met Tommy’s parents once and could see where he got his extroverted personality.
He would always have his makeup artist create magical transformations to my face when I was going to a party or other event.
I don’t remember the last time I saw Tommy and we lost touch. I moved out of state in 1995.
A couple of years later I found out he died from AIDS.
I was stunned and saddened. I still miss him. I picture him young, in his 20s, laughing and having a good time wherever he is. But I would give anything to have him back and be able to hang out with my old friend.
In 1996, not long after I’d moved to Texas, I met Sean, a sweet, quiet guy who was in a long-term relationship with a man who loved him so much. Sean took care of the house and was a great cook while his partner was the breadwinner. Every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas they would have a bunch of people over, including me and Sean would’ve cooked this delicious meal. Guests brought side dishes and we would all sit around and talk, catching up on the latest.
I remember one time Sean told me whenever I wanted to come by and just hang out I was welcome.
Sadly, Sean passed away due to complications from AIDS in 2000.
I remember attending his memorial service while pregnant and the church was packed. The minister at the time talked about how when she visited Sean in the hospital she urged him to fight.
There was a girl I had met, Dawn, who also died from AIDS. Tragically she passed away in her home alone.
Last year the series “American Horror Story” did a season about AIDS called “AHS: NYC. Throughout the whole shows the viewer had no idea it was about this terrible illness until the last few episodes. The two shows that wrapped up the season were horrific and showed the horrors of AIDS. Healthy men went from vibrant human beings with careers and tons of friends to dying, suffering souls and the show depicted all of it, including exactly what you go through when you’re dying of AIDS.
I had no idea what Tommy, Sean, and Dawn experienced and it broke my heart seeing what it was really like to die from this retched disease.
Some people, mainly millennials I would assume, posted on social media that they didn’t think last season was really a horror series. But, many people, including myself, replied by saying that these shows were staggering and were very much horror. Many talked about how they lost partners to this disease and some commented that they had friends who died of AIDS; that each of those who lived through the 80s knew exactly what a horror show it was.
This year’s theme for World AIDS Day is “Collective Action: Sustain and Accelerate HIV Progress.” The first observance started in 1988 by James W. Bunn and Thomas Netter, public information officers at the World Health Organization (WHO). People wear red ribbons because the color symbolizes pain, passion, power, love, confidence, and anger.
Every year activities are held nationally which include essay contests, news conferences, open houses, visits to local HIV clinics, cultural events with speakers, PSAs, campaigns, award ceremonies, outreach, discussions, and other events.
For more information, go to unaids.org or aidshealth.org.